SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I know i really should divorce my WH because I have seen no consistent change. We have a 4 year old daughter and she is very attached to me. It gives me alot of anxiety that i wont see her for some of the week. I want to only allow him 1 - 2 days to see her, but i dont know if he will push back. This is probably the biggest thing holding me back. He doesn’t deserve to even see her, he ruined her family. How did anyone else with young children handle this.

I remember when my daughter was that age, and she was super attached to me. There's no way she could've been with her dad 50/50 - he worked too much and never did her bath and bedtime routines. When I'd travel for work, my mom would look after her, so I get where you're coming from. Have you consulted with any attorneys to see if you're in a good position to ask for full custody?

I have her all nights of the week and he does the daycare drop off 3 x times a week. He looks after her 2 days of the week. I would need a reason like domestic abuse to get full custody. Next year when she starts school i dont know if he will argue for another full day or one night with her. I dont trust his caring abilities. He does not cook, never makes her lunch and she doesnt like to sleep with him. I wish he would just disappear.

You might not need to sue for full or primary custody if your ex is only doing the bare minimum and isn’t engaged in the day-to-day caregiving.

The only reason he might be inclined to pursue 50/50 custody is to avoid paying child support. Maybe you could negotiate on other parts of the settlement to make it more palatable to him.

But if he does pursue 50/50, then your best course of action is to make a detailed record of every time he fails to show up when he said he should, sends your daughter to school without lunch, brings her back to you unshowered, etc. It will take time but with enough documentation, you might be able to go back to court and get more parenting time.